So, here we are at the start of a new decade.
If I live, by 2030 I will have started my 60s. Will I be comfortably off? Will I be healthy?
My son - if he's gone to university - will be reaching the end of that and, hopefully, continuing on a satisfying and happy life with love and friends.
Way, way back - must have been 1998 or 1997 - before I was married or even considering being so, I was in an airport lounge and hoped that I would be a 'present' father and supportive husband - ie not always on a plane and sacrificing the home for the career.
'Sacrificing' is the wrong word actually because it has negative connotations. It suggests that what has transpired for me is the 'better' way - that is not what I mean at all. Genuinely - each to their own and luck and circumstance have such big hands to play.
What has indeed happened is that I have been able to be the father that I wanted - at least in terms of presence at home and reading stories and cuddles and school events and so much more. I believe my son and I have a good relationship and I pray that that continues.
I have clearly not been the husband that I would have wanted. Physically I believe I have done more than many others in terms of support in the home and my wife has had no binds on her actions because of me or my work. But that has not proved good enough. And I cannot forget all that was said and the years of torture before.
In 1998, philosophically, that was a bold wish, but much of it came through - even if the consequences have not been what they might be!
What do I wish for the next major period as I work through my fifties?
I did not have this diary then and so is it more of an issue to write something down?!
In reality, while I thought it would be, it is not difficult to put down what I wish for.
So, while I will always want to continue to support the family as necessary and have the emotional and material ability to do so, by then I do want my independence.
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