Life has stopped those critical few of significant success but all three of us are healthy, we have good friends and loving families. We should be happy because we have much of what we could possibly want and yet, we are miserable.
Married 11 years and I am just so tired.
My wife is a highly educated and vibrant young woman. She worked in her early years, then had to give up for a couple of years as we moved to Paris in 2001 for my work. Even there, through my work, she did a couple of assignments.
I could understand the frustrations and felt guilty. So, we agreed that we would both look for work in the UK and whoever got it first would move over and the other would follow. She got a job in London in, I think, 2003 and then I went to the CEO and asked to move and took redundancy and moved over myself in 2004.
In 2005 she said it would be good to have a child. I am much more of a baby person than she but I asked her whether she really wanted one. I had married her for her and not some future child. What was good for her? Because, inevitably, the lower earner makes the initial commitment to childcare.
We had our wonderful son in 2005. She gave up work, deliberately asked to find an apartment as far away from my parents as possible - hers are in India - and, over the years, has refused to entertain having baby sitters and continues not to work. Which is all fine - her decisions and I support without comment.
Since 2009 our son has been in full-time school - 9 am till 3:30 pm.
I have always been able to be a fully supportive father and husband. I did the night-feeds as she needed her sleep, cut his hair, did his nails and much, much more. I say that not as if I am exceptional but simply as what should be expected from a partner. I play a full part in the housework with ironing, cooking and looking after our son.
I don't mind starting a second shift when I get back from work. What I do mind is the constant anger and unhappiness and stress that I get in return.
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