So .. this is the week-end after Now Let's See - the weekend of Mothering Sunday 6 March 2016.
Yes, things have been going well and peaceably but we are still separate. Yes, we went out to a restaurant last week - just the two of us. But I am still doing my own cleaning, cooking, ironing etc.
Our son participates in Scouts and had to go to a Church service. We came back and she was incandescent with rage. She had expected that I would have booked a restaurant for Mothering Sunday. I did get a card which our son signed and I suppose I could have booked somewhere. But would that not have been hypocritical in our current condition?
As a self-confident woman, could she not have said, 'Mothering Sunday, we are going out.' I would have had no objection.
And, if it comes to appreciation, I can't ever remember doing anything for Father's Day - or receiving a phone call if I was away. And, I don't need it. I do not need a restaurant to know that my son appreciates me.
But, then, embarrassingly, I get myself into a trouble.
I have been away recently. I have also been working out over a considerable time and my body shape is far better that it has probably ever been. Anyway, I take a mirror selfie of myself after having had a shower - not wearing anything. I delete it immediately but, back home, I leave my phone lying around. She goes into Photos, presumably to check out whether I had any with other women, goes into Deleted Photos - a folder I did not even know existed - and finds it.
The rage, then, is all about how she is living with a pervert. The real anger, though, is about the lack of going out because she discovered the photo on the Saturday and said nothing. This is Sunday. And she had said to our son, 'You should have arranged something - I will not buy you pizza on Wednesday.'
(I now realise how she found the Christmas lunch photo that led to the call for the divorce 69 - Things Have Reached a Head - am broken. I was convinced I had deleted it and now I know I must have - I had left the phone at home and she must have gone in and to the Deleted Photos folder.)
I appreciate that I should not have taken the photo. It was a moment of vanity, idiocy and I immediately deleted it. But, it was a private moment, just me, and I got rid of it - or so I thought.
Stalking phones, receipts, bills, continually wanting things, violent jealousy of others, obsessive need for control, behaving like an angel outside the house and an harridan inside. Pervert is added to the list of impotent, shameful, useless, callous, uncaring, incompetent, weird ... and much more.
I am actually writing this the w/e of 12 March and things have again calmed down. She even mentioned going to someone's 40th in May.
What do I do? Do I persuade her to come out to family and friends and say we are separated? Our son is away skiing for a week in a week's time - do I broach it then?
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