219: Child

 We are shopping for the 25th wedding anniversary present. I know she has wanted a luxury watch for a long while. 

Earlier, she had said that she would buy onr with her earnings - the money that we do not touch and remains in her account. But she has never got round to buying. I have thought about this before - there seems to be a reluctance to spend her own money but no issue with our money!

Anyway ....

The watch will probably cost about £3000 or so and we go around some shops. And then she says, 'come on, come on, let's go, if we catch the train before 4 o'clock we can get the off-peak fair.'

I had to point out the irony of possibly saving a couple of pounds when we were spending thousands ...

Different topic. A friend of mine has a young daughter who is about to start full time school. 'J. says that she will be 'in-bits' when her daughter starts at primary.'

'Don't give me that,' is her retort. 'That girl has been going to nursery forever. J. has hardly looked after her. 'in-bits' indeed.'

Any normal person would have gone, 'awww ... I am sure they will both cope' or something a little empathetic.

But no, madam had to prove her superiority and make a judgement.

I dug out a quote from a very old blog entry - 2015 - and a relevant section is below - this judgement thing has always been there and makes having a conversation hard as some sort of opinion or strident advice will follow!

Confidant: 71: What I really think but cannot say (dear-confidant.blogspot.com)

'You say I do not share things about my friends. I mention that I had only just found out that one of my friends and his wife had lost a baby within five days of her being born some ten years ago. After a little while, your reaction, ‘That’s why the wife is a little weird…’ Why should I share if all you can do is insult?

'You are in clover if you can judge people and you are proud of that – apparently that comes from your ‘life experience’, whereas I just go overboard in liking things and people, even such as a cricket hero of mine.

 '(You know what? I am proud in return for being passionate about good things like friendship and family and heroes. I am happy not to be judgemental, angry and superior all the time.)

 'P. did a character test for school – your answers were on the page. ‘Do you consider yourself to be above average intelligence?’ You wrote, ‘Yes and proud of it.’ The accident of birth has given you an arrogance that is ugly.'

A Child - that is who I have made a life with, and while things are peaceable enough and have been for a while, tell me this cannot continue.

(and on that note, in the house She refers to me as Baba (as in father). When she calls me she almost always uses 'baba' instead of my name. Perhaps it started when our son was much younger but it has remained. faux psychology would say that it is a subconscious protector / father thing; I find it irritating but don't bother addressing it!)

218: A Fabulous Day

 August 15, 2024 - our 25th wedding anniversary!!!

Well, it is in fact a day to celebrate as what we do have out of our marriage - and what gives my life any meaning - is our son.

Confidant: 114 - Dear Son - a letter to say 'thanks' (dear-confidant.blogspot.com)

Confidant: 68: Our Son, our lovely, lovely son (dear-confidant.blogspot.com)

And August 15 was his A Level results day.

And he did very, very well.

He's off to Imperial College, London to study Mechanical Engineering - and his friends did well too.

The end of school, a fantastic conclusion.

I could not be happier for him. He worked really hard and put in tons of effort - and was rewarded.

A relief for me as I did not want him to be disappointed and I am sure a boost for him as he walks towards his ambitions.

And his Maths teacher sent me a lovely note - can't add more to that: 

It was a pleasure to meet you and your family again today too! I just hope my sons turn out as intelligent, funny and likeable like (your son). It has been a real pleasure to teach him and I hope he pops in to update us from time to time.

 

Bittersweet – sad to see him leave, but bigger and better adventures await for him!

 

All the best

 

h

217: bits I still do not understand

Our son went away on a holiday with friends and so She and I went away to Berlin for the weekend about two weeks ago.

Our 25th wedding anniversary was coming up, I knew she wanted a very expensive watch - Omega, Rolex. Separately, on our earlier trip to France she made a big thing about getting tax back for some clothes we bought. And this time round, she bought cooking pans and scissors - that we do not need - and got VAT back on those as well.

So, on the basis that watches like that may have a greater range on continental Europe than London and we could get substantial VAT back, I suggested we spend some time shopping in Berlin. We had time for buying pans but I was completely ignored re: the watch.

Anyway, doesn't matter. She probably considered it mean of me to try and get some money back on a wedding anniversary present. Fair enough.

Completely different topic, I was reviewing my life insurance and I have had a policy ever since I left my permanent job. My wife initially agreed to have one herself but has never got round to doing it. I mention it now and again but there is never any action.

Why is that? Is it because I am a man and I am supposed to provide? And that if something were to happen to her, I am expected to simply carry on? Whereas I am supposed to make arrangements in the event of my demise?