78 - Even Now

Separate rooms, my own cooking and washing.

But interacting and talking and she has accepted my taking her out to an expensive restaurant for her birthday - a booking I had made some months ago.

So, this evening, 'we have to clean out the loft.' 'No rush is there?' 'Should do it now and not leave it.' (this from a woman who leaves clothes lying around for weeks and months, didn't tidy up the guest room, and forbade me from doing so, for four months,  and much more!) I say nothing.

'When we get some money together, we have to refresh the house or it'll turn into your parents' place.'

Previously I might have been supine and not said anything. 'Only last year  we poured £30k into this house!' I respond.

'And what about the kitchen? No one has a tired kitchen like our's. When we do it we will have to modernise and extend as well. And we won't be buying stuff from IKEA right? There you go.'

In none of that spiel does, 'And I'll support by bringing in cash..' come in.

I figured I was marrying a modern woman. Turns out she wants all the trappings of that and not be a 'traditional housewife', but does not care to do the work to get there. Clearly she is built to be the wife of an investment banker or a CEO or World Bank/UN high pajandrum whose work would be to spread largesse, be feted and be on committees. Oops!

I have never wanted a 'traditional housewife' either and have been happy to support her in every sense but I have drawn the line at being insulted on top.

'In their 30s,' she continues,'when people struggle for deposits, thanks to Company A, we did not struggle. Now we are having to.'

So, when we did not struggle, it's down to the company. Now that we are a little stretched - of our own volition as we had paid off the mortgage on the old house - the fault is mine. We have never had to budget, we have lived as expats .... all that 'just happens' I guess.

Sorry to be such a failure.