193: Treading water and having fun / staying peaceful

 I have written a couple of times about amnesia and how a few good moments can wipe out months of misery.

Her 50th birthday in early January and we go on a expensive trip to Costa Rica for Christmas. And, actually, it was quite fun. Good travelling group with us, our son was quiet but seemed to enjoy the time, we were being led from place to place and so she did not have much to 'control'.

(Once, though, we were given the option of cleaning or not cleaning our rooms at our hotel for a two night stay - would have been a few tens of dollars I suppose. As Costa Rica has the system of dumping the used toilet paper into a bin rather than flushing, I suggested it would be a good thing to have the room cleaned and, specifically, the dustbin refreshed. Of course she said no!)

In the same town, we needed to go to a supermarket for some provisions. 'Oh, I've heard of this one,' noticing one across the street. A more modern one was on this side of the road and looked a rather more attractive place. No, that was not a good option. The newer one turned out to have far better stocks and was the place where she could get coffee. (Of course I did not know this initially. I have no magic devining powers but why automatically shut me down?!!) 

Having come home, it's been peaceful as well. For her 50th I was expecting some issues as the only thing I'd planned was a dinner at a very posh restaurant and a card - plus Costa Rica! I was expecting (hoping?) for a blow at my lack of care.

(To be fair, I had suggested posh lunch and then a day out in London and a play - but she preferred a dinner, after school, with our son. Fair enough, Had also suggested a lunch with a group of her girlfriends - but this was also turned down. I know of other couples who have arranged parties in secret and so on but I was not going to be bothered with all that - it would be hypocritical.)

But no drama came. 

I wonder how long this reasonableness will last.

This, 'saying and doing the opposite' is almost an illness now. Usually she is a bit over-worried about petrol or charging up the cars. She always fills up well in advance. So I ask this afternoon whether she wants me to put her car on change as the range was down to about 30. 'It's 35 and I will need 24 tomorrow - it is better for a battery to be low down in charge before charging again.' Fair enough argument but completely opposite attitude to her usual one - but the constant is that it allowed her to go against what I was suggesting. Hey ho ....

So, treading water for now and I continue to wonder about the right time to say that we have no future together. Dunno - letting the universe flow.