190: The Job

 About two years ago now, she started a job at a small school.

I had always considered that M. was more enamoured about the idea of a job and its benefits than putting in the hard yards. But the role is tough, the school is strange, and she has buckled down over the last two years or more. She has bought herself a new car with the first year's earnings.

But there has been a lot of complaining throughout - when there was a boss who was completely hands-off and now when there is a boss who is clearly a micro-manager. The last few months mostly what I have heard is how she should get more holidays out of term time and what are her rights and so on. 

I had always believed that you needed to be doing really good work before getting frustrated and give the organisation every chance to recover the situation. But, yes, there can be bad bosses. The conversation, however, has not been about how she did a really good job here and there and was not rewarded - it has been about 'I work through lunch and so I should have more holidays in lieu.' Justifiable actually but narrow.

Today, she has gone to resign and blame that partly on racism - ironic given how often she judges others on playing 'the race card.'

And, actually, from the entries linked, it is surprising that she does not get on with a micro-managing, non-trusting, bullying boss - because that describes her as well! I have generally got on with hands-off bosses as they gel with my character. 

Anyway, I am being supportive and listening and not giving advice. I know from experience that sometimes there is no recovering the situation and crap bosses are crap bosses and it is best to move out. 

I did think about suggesting to her that she should not resign but basically work the minimum effort and continue looking for another job while in a job. Noting that, as the main earner, I would never have had the luxury of walking away. And she clearly does not remember her friend who took a job when her husband was made redundant and took a good while to find another role. This friend complained bitterly about her environment but put her head down and worked and still does so.

But, firstly, perhaps I was just never brave enough in my life to leave and, secondly, I do not want to be accountable in any way for her decisions - I have never been in the past and never tried to influence but always support. Yes, if I can leave her, then it is easier if she is in a job, or everything gets a lot more difficult, I suppose. Precisely because of that, however, I felt that my motives would be conflicted if I advised her not to resign.

So, I stay silent and wonder.

(and I have written about amnesia. In searching for the older entries, I come across other entries - Confidant: 73 - Yet more challenges to my value (dear-confidant.blogspot.com) and Confidant: 161: Trying - just trying (dear-confidant.blogspot.com) that remind about the anger and unhappiness that has rained down on me over the years. I will stay only because of pity and or duty - but that is not what she would want, right?)