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Friday, 27 November 2015

67: Clearly A Failure

Yesterday I get home and she tells me about a dad from school who had been offered  a role in Singapore, Shanghai or Houston. The obvious implication being that he was more successful than me and that I was clearly a failure.

No doubt the failure bit is true - comparatively speaking - but is that a supportive partner? You think I am imagining this?

The conversation carries on:

'Are you applying for any jobs right now?'

No

'What is your designation now? 'Head of ..' like you were before or just a 'Manager?'

Manager

'What about your friends?'

No response from me.

'Are you going to the gym on Monday evening?'

Probably not as I have a meeting with my big boss.

'How old is he?'

Mid to late 50s I suppose.

'At least he is not younger than you.'

Where do I go with this? Have I really provided such a  poor and deprived life?

I am earning more than £100k per annum and her lack of control means that this is not quite enough - and I am trying to go higher. But it is all attack, attack, attack.

In contrast, I wake up the next morning, come out of our room and get a 'daaaaad' from our son who is already awake, a huge smile and massive hug.

I have a son who loves me, valued friends, family members who appreciate me and provide me with support. Am I that bad a person?

This is not how I imagined my life panning out.

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