Life has been pretty calm of late. Partly due to the fact that I had an epiphany moment the other day.
Something has 'clicked' inside me and I wonder if things will ever be the same again - which is a terrifying thought to contemplate given that we are both relatively young. Anyway, the epiphany was that I cannot let this issue affect me adversely: I could easily let this thing gnaw away at me and become the only thing I think about. So, at work as well as at home, I have decided that I will concern myself with and do my best at the things that I control, I will advise in the areas I can influence but ignore the rest and not get upset or excited. This the only way to bring some focus to my mind.
Already I have avoided meeting up with friends - other than close ones - as I haven't been in the mood to be relaxed and friendly; this I have to correct.
I was telling a close friend I did meet up with about some of my issues, and it occurred to me that I have always relied on my friends to give me confidence. They are the only group who have an unadulteratedly positive view of me and in whose company I feel some worth. One's partner should be there to support, to help, to build up and not to criticise, make one feel small and treat like an idiot.
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