132: Same old, same old

Today is a Monday.

Last week, for three days in a row, I came home to just a complete mess at home – stuff in the sink, clothes all over the place, cooking not done ….

And I don’t really mind – am not exactly hugely organised myself.

But the issue is that she leaves things till late and then is all stressed about working till late – in addition to lecturing others on being conscientious!!

Someone who does not work – as in a profession, to work till 10 pm is a travesty.

Last night, mainly because of her as, left to my own devices I would have gone to my room and bed, I sat down to watch some TV with her. 9 pm. She has to choose that precise time to do ironing and scan documents. Both could have been done earlier or later but this need to create drama and then resolve seems to be a habit.

131: Luxury Items (!!!!)

My wife bought some of these sticks that are dipped in perfume and spread a nice aroma around a house.

'This is our luxury item,' she pronounced!

I thought about: planning for a safari holiday, Cuba last year, multiple holidays, £50k on new bathrooms and kitchen, essentially very few worries on spending .....

This must have flicked across my face - she dragged it back, '... another luxury.'

130: Drone Man and Childishness

So, on my landmark birthday our flights to Spain get cancelled due to airport troubles with drones and we are unable to go. I can only imagine what the reaction might have been if it had been on her birthday! (but let me not guess – perhaps it would have been fine.) Not really bothered about going out but she insists that we go to a pub – she tries one that she really likes, fails and then goes for a second. All good.

Her birthday comes, it’s on a Sunday. ‘Shall we try a week-day lunch at a nice place?’ ‘No – we’ll take our son along.’ ‘Ok.’ ‘Shall I book the pub we couldn’t get on my birthday?’ ‘No – let’s go into the centre of town. Somewhere nice.’

Glad I asked about the pub rather than book it!! Would not have been ‘good enough’.

I read somewhere that after the age of 11 one really should not care about birthdays. But clearly not in this case!

After our tempestuous year in 2015, and shopping episode we take an equal amount from the joint account as the Christmas and birthday bonus. I go for Christmas shopping one day with her. The other day she says, ‘I think I will buy a watch for my birthday – I will take you with me.’

As I write these, they seem very little and, indeed, they are – but it is all about self-importance and making others dance to her tune.

The mood, overall, had been a little ‘off’ lately. I use a travelcard to go back and forth from work and this can be registered onto an online system where all movements can be tracked and, in case of loss, money protected. She had been nagging me for months to get it registered and I had always resisted – for no particular reason. Again, she went on at me until I gave in. 

She went online and did all the work. I stepped out of the room to get something and came back to find that she was trawling through my journeys from previous months – and it suddenly struck me that she possibly took my reluctance to register as a sign that I did not want her to see my journeys. Perhaps she was thinking that I was having this mythical affair and my travel history would give it away.

Mood has substantially improved – no such evidence as no such fact!!

129: Happy New Year .... and funny

Happy New Year in this year of 2019 - who knows what this will bring!!!

We were due to meet a cousin of my wife's who also happened to be a childhood friend of mine. This friend and I had fallen out because of a controversy surrounding my wife in which she had been the innocent party - the accusations made by her cousin/my friend totally unfounded. In 2000 I had defended my wife and would do so again and had lost the childhood friend, her siblings and the family as a consequence.

Anyway, there has been a little rapprochement and we were all due to meet. I deliberately wore an old sweater so I would not be accused of 'making an effort.'

My wife comes into the room and forces me to change the sweater and suggests I go to an analyst with the question, ' why do I have trouble spending money?'

Given that we have just spent some £50000 on updating the house, this seemed a bit rich to me! I did not say anything.

Perhaps because what I wear is not my priority, perhaps I don't like wasting money because I have to earn it, perhaps because my only recreation is not 'spending money'.