105 - Regression and Return

Well, that was a strange week.

It did not begin well. There was certainly something wrong but I could not figure out what?

On the Sunday we had gone to visit my new nephew. My cousin – the mother – liked a handbag that my wife had bought (on a discount) and asked my wife to get it for her and that she would pay her back.

While walking back to the car, my wife asked me whether we should give my cousin the handbag as a gift? My response was that she (my wife) had suggested a certain amount of money for gifts for the child and so, that would be fine as we were still within budget.

A week later, I now realise that that was probably the wrong answer. Because there was immediately a coldness and something wrong with the mood. A day later  she mentioned that she could not find the bag any more but that my cousin’s husband would buy it for her at full price. But then, perhaps he would buy her something more extravagant like a diamond ring as another husband was known to have done for his wife on the birth of their baby.

This was a direct reference to the – probable – fact that I had not bought anything specific for my wife when she gave birth. Rightly or wrongly, occasion related presents have not been ‘me’ but there have been lots of presents and holidays and spending over the years. What I should have said was, ‘No, she can pay you back; our budget is for the baby.’

(we happened to be watching a baby DVD the other evening and  in it I say, ‘Oh, look, mum’s first cooking for four and a half weeks.’ So, I guess, I would have been doing all the cooking and everything for a month as we had no parents nearby. And then many weeks more and night feeds and much, much more. Not a compensation for a diamond ring but something?)

With Christmas coming up, on the Tuesday I was walking past a shop and saw a cheap  Pokemon rucksack which I know our son will enjoy. I texted a picture to her. Immediately she called back.

‘No, you will not buy that. It is totally chav (trash). He will NOT be taking that anywhere. You might as well buy something from SportsDirect as a gift. How could you? If you want to buy a rucksack then it should be Superdry or another good brand. It is rubbish.’

I did not react. I simply said, ‘Ok. I will return it.’ It was The Voice and Attitude that I had become accustomed to.

A few hours later, presumably having calmed down, she texted to say that I should not return it to the shop.

Over the week, the behaviour improved.

My cousin requested her help in bathing the baby – something they were struggling with as new parents – and my wife, in addition, offered to cook food and take it over. As this was a ‘special project’ and she loves special projects that will show her in a good light, she did a significant amount of work in cooking and travelling over and helping. I offered to do everything but this was declined.

I have thanked her and will buy her some chocolates tomorrow. I have also booked a very expensive restaurant for her birthday in early January and have offered to go Christmas shopping with her tomorrow.