A dear friend of mine sent me this little beauty:
http://markmanson.net/not-giving-a-fuck
We both feel that we do the right things and are ok people but we just get fucked over. So - as a New Year's Resolution-with-a-capital-R, we will try not to give a fuck.
Have tried to make a start already.
Instead of one week-day evening at the gym, I'm going to go twice. She snores, so if I'm not asleep and can't get to sleep, or am disturbed out of sleep, I just go to the guest room to sleep - where previously I would have worried about offending her.
Have I written about the pearl earrings yet? Or the diamond one?
So, it is a couple of days away from her birthday and we are due to go to a large nearby mall - timing it so my son and I can also go to a film he wants to watch. I give him breakfast and go to the gym. Am back by 1030 am and she has not even come downstairs yet, let alone get ready. So it is one o'clock by the time we leave - too late for the film.
This timing issue and hypocrisy issue bothers the hell out of me - I'll come back to the jewellery story. The next day she has to be out of the house by 9:30 am to meet her friends and of course she is - timing only does not matter when it is us.
Hypocrisy also comes from the fact that she is always getting at us for putting things away and being tidy. And, yet, usually the whole house is a mess - generally a clean up happens early on the day the cleaner is due to come! And I had to do a couple of hours ironing again today because sheets and our son's clothes had piled up and up - in addition to mine which I always do anyway. I ask about his school uniform and am told it is in the wash - Ms Organisation not organised.
Today - a Sunday - I give him some milk and biscuits, go the gym, am back by 11. Breakfast only just finished for them. Prepare lunch, take him to a film, come back and iron. Prepare his dinner and take him upstairs for some reading and a good night cuddle. Only then does she get down to cooking some food for him to take to school tomorrow and putting things in the wash. This will mean that she will probably miss a TV programme she wants to watch and mentally will be saying, 'oh I'm so busy, I can't even watch some TV.'
All this - and other entries - probably make me sound anal. I am really not, as my friends will probably testify. I like consistency, I do not like panic or being vexed, I like calm but I know things can go wrong and I do not expect of others what I do not expect of myself.
Anyway, back to the earrings. Despite all the displeasure of me, she is not averse to buying a birthday present at the mall last week. Leather jackets still don't fit but pearl earrings? Yeah, reassuringly expensive.
Makes me laugh then that when I want to order a book for my former boss who is not very well at all, she takes the reigns and searches on the internet for somewhere which sells it a couple of pounds cheaper!?! The true meaning of penny wise, pound foolish. And the need to control, control, control.
Then she also proceeds to lose a diamond earring. Is she particularly bothered? Does not seem like it? My reaction to her? Do I rant and rave as she would to our son if he were to lose something valuable? No. Do I want to rant and rave? No. When will she realise that to expect perfection of others when one is not perfect oneself is unbelievably immature? Never is my best guess.
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