Come home and - apparently - she has been home all day. But the dining table - full of papers - has not been tidied, the guest room is full of drying clothes, food shopping was done after picking up from school and cooking for dinner has only just started.
What has she been doing all day? No doubt clothes folding will start at 10 pm.
I could do it but I will inevitably be told - as in the past - that my folding is inadequate.
I am a messy person myself but this is getting even beyond me.
Time management is the worst I have EVER seen.
AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!
Monday 28 November 2011
Sunday 27 November 2011
Entry 16: Wit's End
A minor thing and I have to get my frustration out.
Most of the day - a Saturday - I play with our son; homework, piano practice, lunch, model making etc.. Most of the day she fiddles around and does Facebook. But, then, 10:30 pm or so, she comes upstairs with a packing for a birthday present. No doubt she considers that she has been very busy and can ONLY do this so late but, in reality, that is not the case.
And, in a way, it doesn't matter as I do not want her to be a traditional housewife - even if my blog suggests otherwise. I want her to try and do different things, I am happy to help but what I detest is hypocrisy. The house is a mess but I am instructed rudely to clear the breakfast table; tidiness is not a strongpoint but our son is told off in no uncertain terms about his room. These double standards are what I cannot stand and just get on my nerves: do not lecture me when you are not a paragon yourself.
A couple of Mondays ago, she told me that she was going to go into the city to meet a friend and that I should be back by 6pm or so from work. No problem with that; I said I would cook my own dinner knowing that that is what I would have to do anyway.
But I get home to find that even our son's dinner is not ready, the dishes that were in the sink from the previous day are still there, photographs that ought to have been printed for school have not been, he hasn't had his evening shower and so on and so on. What had she been doing all day given that our son was at school? I can make a guess.
I really am at my wit's end. I do not know how to improve things without being direct and I do not want to be direct. At least I am not now taking out on my son - just on this blog.
Most of the day - a Saturday - I play with our son; homework, piano practice, lunch, model making etc.. Most of the day she fiddles around and does Facebook. But, then, 10:30 pm or so, she comes upstairs with a packing for a birthday present. No doubt she considers that she has been very busy and can ONLY do this so late but, in reality, that is not the case.
And, in a way, it doesn't matter as I do not want her to be a traditional housewife - even if my blog suggests otherwise. I want her to try and do different things, I am happy to help but what I detest is hypocrisy. The house is a mess but I am instructed rudely to clear the breakfast table; tidiness is not a strongpoint but our son is told off in no uncertain terms about his room. These double standards are what I cannot stand and just get on my nerves: do not lecture me when you are not a paragon yourself.
A couple of Mondays ago, she told me that she was going to go into the city to meet a friend and that I should be back by 6pm or so from work. No problem with that; I said I would cook my own dinner knowing that that is what I would have to do anyway.
But I get home to find that even our son's dinner is not ready, the dishes that were in the sink from the previous day are still there, photographs that ought to have been printed for school have not been, he hasn't had his evening shower and so on and so on. What had she been doing all day given that our son was at school? I can make a guess.
I really am at my wit's end. I do not know how to improve things without being direct and I do not want to be direct. At least I am not now taking out on my son - just on this blog.
Saturday 12 November 2011
Entry 15: Where are the Adults ... and an untimely fart
Life continues to be quiet. The relationship is fine mostly but I can't help thinking that we are still on something of a knife-edge.
Friday evening and I was really tired. I had done my usual finishing up the son's meal, reading him a story and putting him to bed - followed by a late dinner. Work has been stressful of late as at my grade there is 50% redundancy round ongoing and I had my survival interview this week - but it's not just me I have to be concerned about and try to help, it is also my team.
So by 9:30 pm I was ready to turn in. 'Sleep on my side of the bed as I want to read.' (this is due to the fact that I bought a bedside lamp which she always criticises but it's been two years and more and she has not got around to buying one herself.) 'Ok.' And then she proceeded to fart. So I said - joke angrily - that I wished she hand't done that as I was about to sleep on that side; at which point she accused me of being grumpy.
I rang a friend of mine this evening and was told subsequently that my voice sounded cheery when speaking to someone else but not when at home.
I wanted to respond - but didn't - that it's all about returns to a large extent. This friend has always been kind and is always happy to talk: I give friendship and I receive value back. At home I always appear to give but get little back other than criticism and stubbornness. Just a neutral response would be fine - I don't need thanks.
Our house, overall, continues to be a mess. The marked wall in the dining room is still there, the lights have not been changed, we do not have a china cupboard or a bathroom closet and the rooms remain with their original decor - plus the bedside lamp has not been bought. I could fix all of those but it is her job to look after the house and - in any case - my taste will not be liked. She has tonnes of time to do Facebook, to watch BBC iPlayer and videos and go out with her friends and shopping but not to improve the environment we live in. I don't like it but am prepared to wait and will certainly not instruct.
Oi vey - why are there so few adults in this world?
Friday evening and I was really tired. I had done my usual finishing up the son's meal, reading him a story and putting him to bed - followed by a late dinner. Work has been stressful of late as at my grade there is 50% redundancy round ongoing and I had my survival interview this week - but it's not just me I have to be concerned about and try to help, it is also my team.
So by 9:30 pm I was ready to turn in. 'Sleep on my side of the bed as I want to read.' (this is due to the fact that I bought a bedside lamp which she always criticises but it's been two years and more and she has not got around to buying one herself.) 'Ok.' And then she proceeded to fart. So I said - joke angrily - that I wished she hand't done that as I was about to sleep on that side; at which point she accused me of being grumpy.
I rang a friend of mine this evening and was told subsequently that my voice sounded cheery when speaking to someone else but not when at home.
I wanted to respond - but didn't - that it's all about returns to a large extent. This friend has always been kind and is always happy to talk: I give friendship and I receive value back. At home I always appear to give but get little back other than criticism and stubbornness. Just a neutral response would be fine - I don't need thanks.
Our house, overall, continues to be a mess. The marked wall in the dining room is still there, the lights have not been changed, we do not have a china cupboard or a bathroom closet and the rooms remain with their original decor - plus the bedside lamp has not been bought. I could fix all of those but it is her job to look after the house and - in any case - my taste will not be liked. She has tonnes of time to do Facebook, to watch BBC iPlayer and videos and go out with her friends and shopping but not to improve the environment we live in. I don't like it but am prepared to wait and will certainly not instruct.
Oi vey - why are there so few adults in this world?
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