The Saturday just gone.
From the previous week she had been telling me that she would be going out to a recital on the Saturday evening. No problem.
Come Friday evening, she has had a bad week at work - more of that later. She has been going on incessantly about this recital.
We go to Parkrun on Saturday morning, and I say that I know - as a man - I am just supposed to listen, and I have. But a colleague once told me that in 30 years of work he could look back on maybe three years where all was good - enjoying work, being valued. I was just starting off my work life at that time and found that to be extremely depressing. Now, in my thirty years, I would say I have had maybe 7 years. So, frustration and all that is part and parcel, and you have to go with it. It was a reasonable conversation and the day progressed.
It was also our son's first day of half-term holidays, and he was, of course, on his PS4. Suddenly she gets into one of her rants about too much time on that and he has to do something else and so on and so on. Separately, I say to her that it is his first day of holidays ... 'but you will be working in the week, and he will play all day.' He is a conscientious bloke overall - even if he does play too much on the PS4 - and does not play in the week during term time and did pretty well in his summer exams. From next month, he will have two hours of driving lessons on a Sunday and probably sport on Saturday morning and so, along with homework, PS4 will reduce anyway.
'It's a nice day and we should have gone out. But I knew you would not be interested.'
'This is not on me,' I respond. 'For the last week you have been saying that you will be going to a recital, then this morning you said you would meet a friend. Neither of those happened through your choice and it is not possible to adjust constantly and instantly to your needs.' And I said it loudly - hopefully my son heard.
But then I found a film at the cinema that none of us was really interested in and asked my son to come with us - explained to him that sometimes we have to do things for others and thanked him for his understanding.
This sort of thing is not new though - see towards the bottom of the 2012 (!) entry.
As for work, yes, her boss is difficult. But she signed up for 52 weeks and now all I hear is how she should be allowed to take time off in lieu of half-hour lunch breaks. And how, physically, she cannot cope.
I have sympathy but this is a new boss. Be good, build a relationship and then look for flexibility. And as for the physical discomfort of getting into a new car and driving for thirty minutes each way - good thing she did not have to commute for one hour and a half each way for decades.
I had always considered that she was good with the rewards of work (money) but objected to having to do it. Some references I have seen from younger days basically say that she turned up - no initiative, no going the extra mile.
I desperately hope I am wrong as my leaving will be easier if she is working well and earning. But I am almost there - do I wait for her 50th in January '23 or not?
