Re-reading my blog, I came across the last entry - and something similar happened the other day.
I was doing the dinner for our son and, by mistake, I had not moved some clothes that were drying in the kitchen.
'Why couldn't you move these?' 'It would have taken a second.' 'You don't care because none of your clothes were drying.'
So, not only was I a complete incompetent rather than forgetful, I was also looking to get at her specifically and my actions were deliberate. Bollocks to this.
Ten minutes later, she is suggesting - all bright and bubbly - that she and I go out for dinner the following night as our son will be at a friend's in the evening. It takes me a while to 'come down' from being told off and some of that maybe shows in my response ... 'we don't have to go if you don't want, just say so,' she says. We go in the end.
I had to drain some peas for our son's dinner. Not noticing a strainer, I used a cheese grater that was to hand. 'Why are you doing that?! What if I want to grate some cheese?' 'But, you're not and I can wash it.' 'No, that now needs to go to the dishwasher. How stupid are you? How can you have such a low IQ? Who does this anyway. Your father was right - you are all technophobes.' And all in that shouty voice. 10 minutes later, I've gone upstairs, not reacted and it's all bright and bubbly.
She says she will wake up at 7 am the next day to get ready for work. At 8:25 am I knock on the door as she sings away to herself in the shower - I have to get ready for my work. 'Oh, sorry, I turned off the alarm and fell asleep. Anyway, I must have needed the sleep.'
Do I say, 'you are so callous. You said 7 am and I planned accordingly. How can you be so lazy. Just like your parents can't arrive anywhere without being an hour and a half late - so that is how you behave. Complete selfishness.' No, I don't - life's too short and what would be the point anyway.
Another common trend is this obsession with saving little bits of money - not using a paid parking spot, not renting deck chairs on the beach - while being profligate with rather larger sums of money elsewhere.
She has been working for the last year. She did offer to pay the school fees for our son with her salary - it would have taken up all of it. But I suggested that she save that instead and it could be our holiday fund or maybe she could get a car - something material as reward for her labours.
A year down the road, she is about to spend almost £29k on a small (Mini) electric car. Absolutely not value for money. And that is fine. It is a luxury but there is nothing wrong with that, it is exciting and it is her money.
But I suggest that our cleaner - who earns £12.50 an hour - should get a modest pay-rise and the response is, 'no, she has to ask first.' Over the corona lock-down when the cleaner could not come, she initially objected to my suggestion that we continue to pay the cleaner's wages even though she was not coming - but later agreed, to be fair.
Situation remains relatively calm but, boy, am I tired.
