41: Fuck it....

I knew things were going too well. It was at a point where I had cut down on my time at the gym, was even feeling whether I should even be doing; since the gym was part of an escape, now there was little to escape from except for little episodes.

Anyway...

Tomorrow is my last day with my old team and they have organised some drinks. They have paid for it and I've been looking forward to it for weeks. Last time I went out was in late September.

But the new team I will be joining was going out today and invited me. Considering it politic to go I asked whether it would be ok to go two nights in a row. She said yes.

Then, half way through the evening I get a phone call with some drama that I have to do this and that and have to come home. I am also told that I must be back by 7 tomorrow. And going out three nights in the week - one was at a  gym till 7:30 pm - was entirely unreasonable.

Firstly I can tell from the bloody toilet that periods have started. Secondly, as usual, she is stressed because she has left everything till the last minute. Our son's birthday is coming up and it comes - not surprisingly - at the same time every year. I had done my job in persuading him to do something easy and all she had to do was make one phone call and arrange it at a leisure centre. Now we are going away abroad for two weeks on holiday and she only gets around to doing it this week and has had to scurry round gathering invitations etc.. Washing I noted was on the washing machine, wet.

I did something I have rarely done and said that no wonder she was stressed given that she leaves everything till the last minute and doesn't start work till 6 pm. Yes, I had left a dinner plate on the table from last night which I had not moved this morning - my bad. By the way, I had only had some toast, so it was only a few crumbs at worst on the plate. It would have taken all of 10 seconds to move and, for all I care, she could have left it for me to move when I came back.

So here we are at 11:20 pm and I am having to let go of my frustrations here. But I am really procrastinating because I have to do the ironing for my son's school uniform while she has gone to sleep. I can see from the internet browsing history that a significant time has been spent browsing today but clearly it was a tiring day.

Fed up, fed up, fed up - but there is nothing I can do and no one I can turn to ..... except you, dear blog.