Entry 2: 11 years - tired, tired, tired

Went to bed last night after the first entry. She turned away - the silent treatment continues. Well, fuck you .... or not, to be more accurate.

A Saturday.

Today milady woke up at 1045. I had been up since 7:30 am with our 5 year old, given him breakfast, played a little, was getting the morning bath ready. Then came lunch preparation while she focused on Facebook.

Before you ask it, no, she does not have a job other than that of being a mother. Her choice - she told me off once for suggesting that she might consider going back and I haven't tried since. As a mother she is wonderful, as a wife.....?

I get home from work and I start a second shift. Feed our son - often preparing the dinner as well - bathe him/shower, read two stories and put to bed.

In the meantime, cooking for our meal - I am not allowed as I have been deemed incompetent - has started at 8. Eat at 9 and collapse at 10. For some reason it is only then that washing can be put up and that is followed by 'oh, I have so much work'- what was wrong with the whole day (or at least from 9 till 2:30?)
But the point is, mostly, I do not mind. From the birth of our son, I have done the waking up at nights. 99% of days I have been home between 6:30 and 7 for the evening meal and sleep. When the cleaner is unwell, I do the bathroom and the ironing; it was me recently who ironed from 9 till 10 and then studied from 10 till midnight as her cousin was coming and clothes and sheets had piled up.

I am tired, tired, tired. 11 years of being patient, 11 years of second guessing her moods, 11 years of clutching at the patches of good humour, 11 years of worrying what she will think, 11 years of being belittled.

Entry 1: Walking Cliche

What can I say? I am a walking cliche. 42 years old, a middle manger in a large organisation in a large city. Married, one child (private school), a terraced house and just over a £90k salary. Leave the house at 7:45 am and come back at 7 pm.

Life has stopped those critical few of significant success but all three of us are healthy, we have good friends and loving families. We should be happy because we have much of what we could possibly want and yet, we are miserable.

Married 11 years and I am falling out of love with my wife.