The last week or so has been good. The environment has been calmer, almost fun. She went off to Brussels for a weekend with one of her mates and had a good time - the sort of thing I have been recommending for months.
Couple of weekends ago, she was out getting her hair done or something and I had gone to drop our son off at a school game. I could have done the weekly shop on the way back but of course I am not qualified to do so - being incompetent and all.
So, time goes and procrastination happens, the tension and time pressure builds. I have done what I need to do and am watching some TV. This clearly makes her angry as has chores to do - I have offered to help but I am not good enough to be be of any help!
Desperate for something / anything to have me do, she says, 'The garage desperately needs cleaning and there's loads of stuff to take to the dump,' in that crotchety, angry voice.
I had actually tidied the garage and it was fine - but I did not argue. I went downstairs and picked up three small items for the dump - her 'loads of stuff'. I confirmed with her that this was all there was. But I didn't mind - actually it got me out of the house and away from her for a little while.
This is petty I know. But it grates and the volume picks up until it begins to weigh heavily. And then comes a week or two of peace and I begin to forget - and consider myself silly for thinking the thoughts I do about leaving. But, as she herself has said to me many times, true characters do not change.
As she was leaving for Brussels, she appeared to say that I could fold the clothes that were hanging on the rack? 'I am allowed to fold the clothes - have I been promoted?!' Trying to make a point in a fun way.
'No, you have not. You put the clothes in the basket, but you can fold the racks. You have not been promoted to folding clothes and loading the dishwasher.'
Nuff said really. All about control and making the other feel incompetent. Cannot forget.
